he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
