when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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