i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
