Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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