The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
