no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
