Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
