Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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