i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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