Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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