And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
