I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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