dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
