Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
