If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
