i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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