just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
