We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
