dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
