was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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