worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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