Where did you get a picture of my penis
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
