every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
