Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
