dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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