I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm too high and old for this...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
