we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
