We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
