I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
