We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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