actually, I'm a sock model
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
