Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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