i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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