everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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