I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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