drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
