I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
