so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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