Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
