i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
