A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
