her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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