honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
