She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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