So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
