Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
