I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
