so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so much tequila, so little girl.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
