I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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