I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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